This week I lost my temper and I haven’t found it yet. Why I let anything cause me to snap is always baffling, and once I get started on a rant it builds to a crescendo that sounds like pounding on a piano. My poor hubby would rather hear my music than have me chase after him with my complaints. I always feel horrible when my harsh words escape, beacause my normal word stream is pleasant platitudes. I think my daughters just rolled their eyes again. I might be suffering from separation anxiety because I miss seeing my children. Or, it could be that frustration has overpowered me in my failed attempt to start running. Only day two into a new training regime of a slow one mile jog and a little sprint and I have torqued my left knee. It didn’t look too bad, but the physical therapy is killing me. Or, maybe it is the heat and humidity. Or, maybe it is the weaning off of daily dessert. All in all, I am cranky this week, so it may be a good thing that I am taking a trip to my happy place. A week with my Totally Fit Friends and I should be back in balance. This group of women who get together for education and inspiration is such a delight. Taste and See may be my favorite event because I love to cook and eat. Praying, singing, and laughing together is always uplifting too, and I must admit some of the best huggers in the world are in this missional community. I trust that I will fully heal and be ready to join them in a 5K Race for the Cure in October, and a 10K Bridge Run in April. The demons in my mind will never win. The bag of bones I call my body is aging and not supporting me as it used to, but I shall not give in. Some concessions may have to be made, but I will stay away from the concession stand. Some adjustments will have to be made and I will start with my attitude. Some weight loss is essential, and I will start with the things that weigh heavy on my mind. Finding humor everyday is so helpful for the mind, will, and emotions to be stable and ready for the next step. When I find my temper and put it back in its cage for safe keeping, then I will get back to greeting my hubby with pipe and slippers. Of course I don’t really do that! But lots of kisses. Kisses and hugs are much better than yipping and yammering. You don’t want to actually hear my complaints, so that’s it for today. I’ve got to run.
This week, it was hot, humid, and hilarious. My sister-in-law is visiting and we have no air conditioning. Karen came prepared to spend time on the beach of Lake Erie and that gave me a great excuse to leave the house chores behind. Well, who needs an excuse when the beach beacons? I am most happy to ditch the ceiling fan environment and even my shiny new kitchen appliances to wade in the water and hunt for beach treasures. To my delight, Karen arranged for us to meet Debbie at the Redbrook Boat Club. Debbie came across a hundred yards of water on her new paddle board. It looked relaxing and peaceful. “Would you like to try it?”, she said. “YES”, we both replied as we were already knee deep in the water to greet her. Debbie gave simple instructions on where to place our feet and how to transition from kneeling to the good old ‘down dog’ position and rise to a solid stance while our eyes are on the horizon. Right. I went first. Kneeling was nice and comfortable. Standing was work. My calves felt tight as I wibble wobbled back and forth and my ankles were wincing. Debbie was on her way with a second board, so I thought I would paddle and meet her half way. HA! After two minutes I was back on my knees and offering Karen her turn. As I walked the board to shore I lost a shoe and looked on the clear bottom of the lake all around me. “Is that it floating behind you?'”, said Karen as I turned to see a Croc about to nip me. Karen jumped on the board and got up rather quickly. She did a little Cha Cha Cha backwards and plunged in the water. A helpful little boys said, “You should wear a preserver”. Well, we were able to touch the bottom where we were standing, but his message was well heeded. What is it that helps us stay afloat in times of trouble? It could be an actual life saver like a vest or ring that we hold onto, or it could be insurance that provides support during a financial crisis, or emotional support from loving people. There are many times when our parents lent a hand when we were over our head. I have friends who have literally felt the arms of God around them when in an accident. There is nothing like prayer when we are in crisis. Life preservers are important even when we think we don’t need them. Karen and I both got on the board for a second try. We did a little better at balancing, paddling and building our confidence. It was invigorating and satisfying to try something new. Today the house is still hot, and the hot mamas are ready for some more beach time. The house work will always be there- maybe I will get back to it in December.
Yesterday, I saw a poster for a “Fun Run” 5K race. Fun might be a misleading word for those who do not relish large crowds, extreme weather conditions, or anything that requires endurance. I was quite a runner in my youth, but only for sprints and never for distance. Perhaps I did not know how to pace myself. Maybe my heart and lungs were not on good speaking terms. It was very humbling my Freshman year of High School to run a mile for the first time and watch my class mates pass me by, when I was usually the head of the pack. Some thought it was because my brother said, “If you want the boys to like you, you have to let them catch you”. No, marathons have never been on my list of things to do -until now. There is a little voice telling me that running a distance is exactly the thing that would best exemplify: taking a challenge, leaving my comfort zone, pushing a little harder and moving forward. Sometimes, I like to see what I am made of. I planted this seed of thought in my daughters, hoping it might become a family challenge with accountability to one another. I got the typical roll of the eyes from them of course. Elise said, ” I don’t have the time”, Bethany said,” I don’t have the right shoes”, and Hannah said, “I don’t like to run”. New shoes for Christmas everyone? I don’t know what to do about helping them find time or desire, but I know for sure I won’t run this race alone. I need a buddy for continued motivation. My goal is to do the Bridge Run in Charleston on April First next year with my Totally Fit Friends. If I am not trampled by forty-thousand people, I will have done something beyond my wildest dreams before I turn sixty that same week. I know this will take training and coaching. I should start now, because currently I am limping after a one hour walk. Somehow I have to turn the impossible to Kimpossible. Add a chiropractor to the list support people, please. My hubby has two new knees, but he may surprise me and join the effort. He is the one who taught me to play golf, and racket ball, ski, and get back on a bicycle. I don’t mind hard work or sweat, but I am really adverse to pain, so that is my biggest hurdle. Also, when I accelerate a work out, I tend to lose all my natural immunity and end up with a respiratory illness. Self preservation often cancels out lofty goals. Can spiritual strength withstand these trepidations? Yes, it may be the only thing that will drive me to strive for something beyond the normal and monotonous retirement stage of my life. Who knows a good, experienced ( as in older and understands my limitations) trainer in Ashtabula? I am not trying to recapture my youth, I am only wanting to stay part of the human race. Step one is to start today with a hike in the woods. If I meet the black bear I am told is on the path, there will definitely be a fun run.